Parallel Universe Film Guide

A satirical just-this-close-to-our-own-universe guide to the movies that reveals them for what they almost were. Read a few and you’ll get the gist. Here’s a couple I liked:

December 7, 1943 (2001)

Created and Written by Spencer Green

Rating: **1/2


Summary

Romantic triangle set against backdrop of attack on Pearl Harbor; many inaccuracies, starting with title, fact that Bob Kerrey did not shoot Hawaiian civilians in “no fire zone,” Lend-Lease Act was not brokered by Donald Trump.

Didja Know?

  • People like movies with explosions.
  • The Lend-Lease Act was not brokered by Cal Worthington either.


Famous Quotes

Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Today, I’m opening a can of whoop-ass on Japan.

Sound familiar? How about this trashy double-feature:

My, How Filmmakers Love Their 70s Crap (2007)

Created and Written by Spencer Green

Rating: *****

Summary

Impallario and Naranjo team up for this double-feature tribute to cheesy action-drive-in movies, featuring a zombie attack, a crazed man who engages women in to-the-death car chases, and a psychiatrist who analyzes why certain directors will apparently wallow in pseudo-hip juvenile shit for the rest of their careers.

It’s fun to pin these to their real-universe counterparts. And it’s all lovingly cross-referenced in the IMDB.com style, too. Here’s the parallel of one of my personal favorite directors. Thanx to Kottke for bringing this one out of the closet.

Didja know?

I don’t have to look in a dictionary to know how to spell “parallel.”

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